


The Same Deep Water As You

by teasockschocolate



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: F/M, anne and phillip are kicked puppies, three cheers for angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 09:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13972350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teasockschocolate/pseuds/teasockschocolate
Summary: Through embraces and kisses they would coax the other out of the demons that haunted their dreams. It had become a routine part of their lives. Not a welcome one, but one they fought together.





	The Same Deep Water As You

They helped each other through the nightmares.

Some nights, Phillip would be back to being kicked down the stairs to the cellar of his parents house. He retreated back to the pile of blankets on the corner where he would wrap his arms around his legs and bite his knee to take his mind off the dull pains of hunger in his stomach as fresh welts from his father’s belt formed on his back.

He didn’t scream in those dreams. He’d just shake, tears silently sliding down his cheeks. Anne would wrap her arms around him until he would still, imagining silent ways to kill his parents for damaging him so much.

Sometimes Anne was back in Alabama and it was the night her mother snuck her and W.D. on the back of a train headed north. Her mother had stayed behind, so as to spare all three of them punishment. It had been the first time Anne had gotten whipped — at the ripe age of nine for climbing trees instead of picking cotton — and her mother had sworn to her that it would be the last. They never saw their mother again.

In those dreams she was a child again and would whimper for her mama until Phillip would gently wake her, hushing her and pulling her close.

Anne and Phillip had identical scars on their backs. Thin, raised lines that were reminders for who the world wanted them to be.

They both dreamt of the fire. Phillip of the flames licking his body, calling out to him, as he stumbled to find Anne, this time knowing that she was in there. He’d trip over something on the ground and look down to see her body, broken and burned. His scream would wake them both up and he’d pull her to him so tightly she could hardly breathe.

Anne would see Barnum carry Phillip’s limp body out of their crumpled empire and would say that he was no longer breathing. That he died to get to Anne and it was all her fault. Or sometimes she was back at his hospital bed and felt his hand grow limp in hers.

When she woke she would cling to him, burying her face to his chest so she could hear the thud of his heart.

Sometimes he dreamt that Barnum had never taken him on as a partner. He watched himself produce dull plays, marry a shrill girl he didn’t know, be forever distant with his wife, his children, and himself. He would drink himself into a stupor until he died at an old age, nothing but unhappy.

He woke from those dreams with a sad ache in his chest until he saw Anne sleeping next to him and his heart would soar when he’d remember what his real life was.

Her nightmares got worse when she entered her sixth month of pregnancy. Charity told her that was common. Anne’s stomach would be aching and her chest heaving. A faceless stranger would hand her a screaming, tiny bundle. She’d take it in her arms and the fierce love inside her felt was unlike anything she’d felt before. She’d turn to Phillip and he would be gone. One look at the baby and he’d realize that he had brought a mixed race child in the world. A child of a Carlyle was half black. And so he would leave. He’d go back to his parents, find a wealthy girl with porcelain skin and golden hair and Anne would be left alone with their baby.

She’d wake up sobbing and would push Phillip away when he reached for her. He’d come up behind her, whispering nothings until she got over her initial panic. Then she would turn and fall into him, crying softer as he rocked her and kissed her hair. It had become a routine part of their lives. Not a welcome one, but one they fought together.

Through embraces and kisses they would coax the other out of the demons that haunted their dreams. Their painful pasts would always haunt them, but they always had each other when they woke up.


End file.
